


She Lit a Fire

by ToothlessRen



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-31 22:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18323204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToothlessRen/pseuds/ToothlessRen
Summary: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren comes to some massive epiphanies about himself, Snoke, Rey and what he wants for his future.Rey vows she will fight him. Never kill him. Killing him would be like killing part of herself. She won’t give up on him.





	She Lit a Fire

Rey stood aboard the Falcon, manning the door until the last of the Resistance made it on safely, when suddenly, the noise was pulled away from her. Ben. _But how?_ Snoke was dead. His strength over her had died with him, sending her crashing onto the throne room floor.

He was kneeling on the ground, head down, golden dice in hand. Han’s dice. Then he felt her and looked up. At her. Into her. His eyes held her. Those dark, pleading eyes. Part of her longed to go to him, soothe him. She could see the desperation, pain, torment, conflict. But then she remembered; he chose the dark side. The First Order. He chose to attack the Resistance. He chose to attempt to shoot down the Falcon, _that she was on for kriff's sake,_ having been unsuccessful. To endanger her, Chewie, Leia. His own mother.

Her anger resurfaced. The biting, stinging lash of his rejection. They had grown so close, knew each other in such a profound way and he betrayed her. She had offered to help him, words whispered between them. He had once comforted her. Been there for her. Been Ben for her. Touched her hand. Killed Snoke instead of her. Asked her to join him. To rule with him. She didn’t want to rule.

 

She had seen both sides of him, light and dark and offered to help him turn. She knew now that her vision of his future had truly just been the shape of it. She understood that she hadn’t been wrong exactly. He did turn, but not to the light. He turned his allegiance away from Snoke and to her. He did bow before that disgusting creature but that had quickly shifted. She wondered if he had planned to do so. Had their connection been real, despite Snoke creating it? It had to have been, if he planned the turn of events in the throne room. But if it hadn’t been, if he hadn’t planned for it, what did it all mean? Why then, would he want her to join him? Was he simply using her as a way to kill his master and assume his place of power? Or did he truly want her with him? And as what? An apprentice? A a pupil? The questions burned in her mind, but she couldn’t utter a single word, knowing that if she confided in anyone about her connection to Kylo Ren she'd be branded a traitor. 

As he looked up at her she saw both. Kylo Ren and Ben Solo. One didn’t exist without the other. She knew that someday, her vision could come true, but it would not be by her doing. Ben had to be the one to chose. To change. And he wasn’t ready quite yet. He needed to heal first. He needed to live in his own head without the dark manipulation he had suffered. And if he needed her help along the way, she would be there. _She would be there_ , she vowed. _For him, with him_. She hoped he had caught that bit. _But until he chose it, she would have to wait_. Until then, she had to let him go. She would not turn away from her morals, her friends, no matter how loudly the force screamed at her that Ben Solo was her belonging. She would fight him, if necessary. Fight, _but never kill_. Killing him would be like killing a part of herself. He was part of her now. She knew his thoughts, memories, fears, emotions. And he knew hers. She wouldn’t give up on him, she knew. Feeling a strong resolution and an equally powerful ache over being parted from the one she shared such an intimate, all knowing, no hiding bond with, she closed the door, cutting off her view of the dejected, lonely, newly made Supreme Leader.

—————————————————————

As the Falcon soared away from Crait, Rey found herself in a bustle of activity. Quickly finding her favorite and familiar droid, she bent down to fix BB-8’s antenna. It was at that moment that a man walked up to her. Poe, he had said. His name was Poe. He was familiar and already knew who she was, but after the maelstrom of a day she had had, her brain couldn’t properly place him. She watched as the Resistance members gathered, greeted old friends, took comfort in each other and their survival. She watched from her seated spot as Finn fretted over a woman she didn’t know, curious about their connection. Holding her destroyed, split in half lightsaber, she felt a deep longing. To nurture, protect, care. _For Ben_. She sensed Leia, Ben’s mother, Luke’s twin, join her. Rey spoke first.

“Luke is gone, I felt it,” and quickly tried to soothe the leader with her head down “but it wasn’t sadness or pain, it was peace and purpose”. She hoped it reassured the woman who just lost her husband, her brother and was under attack by her own son’s orders.

“I felt it too”

“How do we build a rebellion from this” Rey asked, feeling that the question deeply impacted her place in the Resistance. Not knowing, now that her teacher was gone and the Resistance severely depleted, if she would be enough to help them. She sat in awe as Leia took her hand.

“We have everything we need”. She had heard those words before. Or similar ones. Back on Takodana, right before the world went black. They were Kylo’s words. A shiver of fright went down her spine at those words, as a warm glow of compassion and urgency filled her. This was where she belonged, with Leia and Finn for now. _Until_.  
—————————————————————

Three standard months have passed since Crait and Kylo Ren has been angry _. So kriffing angry_. More angry than he ever had been. Snoke tortured Rey and demanded he be the one to kill her, knowing full well the bond he shared with her. _It was I who bridged your minds_. Why would Snoke do that? Allow him one real connection in the world, with a person who understood him so thoroughly, only to demand he end her life. He was angry with himself. Bowing down to the monster all while doing nothing to stop the brutal actions against Rey. Killing Snoke had been brewing, longer than Kylo ever realized. Snoke berating him over the droid and the girl. _The girl who’s never held a lightsaber, you failed._ Force lightning. He had given everything he was, everything he had to his master, _to the dark side_. He was reduced to _nothing but a child in a mask_. He killed his father for Snoke, in front of Rey. In vain it seemed because it didn’t place him solidly in the dark. Snoke has been right about something at least, it had split his spirit to the bone.

The fresh anger though, was perhaps not even anger at all. But rather, rejection, abandonment. She gave up on him. Rey chose the Resistance. He had offered her everything he had, everything he was, _himself_. Offered to be her belonging, knowing that that was the way the Force was pushing them. But it was more than just the Force. He wanted her. By his side. As his equal. _As his._ Always. So that they’d never be alone again. They would be together, forging a new way. New order. And she rejected him.

Couldn’t she see that he didn’t want to be fully dark? Couldn’t she sense his barely there light? She had to know that she was the light he was drawn to. He wanted to bask in her light. Even now, after her supreme betrayal. He wanted to take comfort in her, and be her comfort in return. They had both endured so much turmoil, some of hers at his own hands. He felt sick to his stomach at the truth of that. Had he known he would be bonded to the most beautiful, compassionate, strong, fierce, and radiant source of light in the galaxy, he would have done everything differently. Not stalked her through the forest of Takodana. Not forcibly immobilized and kidnapped her. Not violated her mind. Not tracked her down in the snow cover woods of Starkiller. Not called her nothing.

But then, if he had done things differently, would they be bonded?

That first time he saw her, he was fascinated. His mind was on a loop of _I know you. It’s you._ He had felt an awakening in the Force, and it had been beautiful. He should have known it was _her_ awakening. She had been his pull to the light. Even before he met her. When he had swooped her up and carried her in his arms, he had felt a strange warmth. Despite it being a kidnapping, nothing had ever felt more right. When he looked into her mind, he found someone who was so much like him. Had endured a horrible childhood. Who understood what lonliness from isolation and abandonment felt like. And when she pushed him out and entered his mind, exposed his ultimate fear, he was more impressed than angry. No one had ever bested him in the Force. Except Snoke. _And then Rey_. Dueling with her in the snow had been a thrill. And she hadn’t even been aware of her power. Watching over crossed red and blue blades as she connected with the Force, and when his grandfather’s lightsaber flew straight to her, had been an honor and privilege. He had been in awe of her. The scars she gave him that day had come to mean something to him. After their bond started connecting them, he regarded his scar as pieces of her, reminders, and he secretly wore them proudly. The interrogation had been when their bond formed, or so he had thought. He had sensed her in his mind when she connected to the Force in the snow. He recognized his own training being used against him. So they had been connected, even then. Snoke decimated that idea when he revealed that he had in fact done so. But then, Snoke’s Force over Rey broke the second he had killed him, and yet the bond had opened once again.

He realized then, that perhaps his father had been right. _Snoke is using you for your power, and when he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you_. For as long as he could remember, a dark presence infested his mind. He fought if for as long and hard as he could. But because it had been there for so long, it was a simple task to turn him after his Uncle’s attempt on his life. Once he was with Snoke, he thought he was finally where he belonged. While the training he received from his Uncle didn’t allow attachments, it certainly allowed camaraderie. The First Order was a different tale. He was fine with that. Ben Solo had never been comfortable around people, didn’t have many friends. Kylo Ren had no patience for the idiots that surrounded him. But now, he realized that Snoke had pinned he and Hux against each other. There had been no need for the rivalry between the two, except to ensure that the two of them never plotted against Snoke together. Now that he truly thought about Hux, Kylo realized that he too had been equally manipulated. _A cur’s weakness, properly manipulated, becomes a sharp tool_. They had both been Snoke’s tools, himself a weapon. Snoke had manipulated Rey as well. _I stoked Ren’s conflicted soul. I knew he was not strong enough to hide it from you. And you were not wise enough to resist the bait._ He hadn’t truly created the bond, had he? Had he merely been aware of it and patiently waited for an opportunity to use it against them? Let them grow close, only to be told that what they had wasn’t what they thought? She would think that Kylo had been the one to manipulate her even further and Kylo would know that she too had been using the bond to further her agenda? And that Snoke would hurt him even further when he demanded her death, leaving him alone again. _You’re not alone. Neither are you_. Words as strong as vows. And with Rey now gone, he, and his heart, were crushed. Han Solo was right.

It was clear to him that Rey wanted nothing to do with him. How could she after everything he had put her through? She wouldn’t want to see him, but could he still see her? He wished, now more than ever that he had some sort of control over the bond, that their connections could be deliberate instead of random. He wanted to see her. To tell her he was wrong. That she wasn’t nothing. That he simply used the wrong words. He wanted to tell her that she was everything to him, that her past didn’t determine her worth. That she was someone worth holding onto despite what her filthy parents had done to her, made her believe. He wished he could check in on her, but it felt as if she had commissioned a fortress around her mind. One that he couldn’t break through. So he resigned himself to waiting. It had to open eventually. _But until then_ -

“Ren” his name in the mouth of his rival broke his train of thought.

“What is it?”

“Under your rule the rebel scum have managed to relocate. Reports indicate that they are growing in numbers , tell me you have a plan”

“No”

“And who do you think you are Ren? Certainly no Supreme-” he was cut off by a force choke.

“Supreme Leader, that’s exactly who I am now. You will not undermine my authority”

“You know you cannot mind trick me Ren” he breathlessly spat out.

“That wasn’t a trick, it was an order, Hux”

“Yes, Supreme Leader” he said with a sneer.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Reylo fanfic, and my first one posted on this site. Please let me know what you think...also check me out on tumblr as @toothlessRen


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